Today I was sent to my Uncles whilst mum and dad went to go do a little bit of ‘light’ shopping, which usually meant dad was about to be dragged around 7 TRILLION shops whist mum tried on every shoe in existence. Her excuse was that it was nearly Christmas but the only presents she were buying were for herself!
My Uncle Jimmy on the other hand was really getting into the Christmas spirit as he had dressed his racing snails in very unusual elf costumes and Slimy was playing the important role of ‘Santa’ but he kept sliming over his beard which would pull it off, so it wasn’t very convincing! (Minus the fact he is a snail)
Whilst Uncle Jimmy was concentrating on teaching the snails a rather silent version of ‘Jingle Bell Rock’ I decided to venture to my favourite place in the world… THE TIME MACHINE!
I was curious to see what Christmas would be like in 10 years’ time, would it still be this boring? Would Uncle Jimmy still be completely off the wall crazy?! Will mum still be trying on shoes?
So I wound the clock forwards exactly 3650 days into the future and pressed the big green button…
The big colourful whirl of time and space flew by and before I knew it I was transported to a building I knew very well. It was BUCKINGHAM PALACE!
I knew this very well because every year my mum made me watch the queen’s speech and it was the most BORING 10 minutes of my life, I used to sit there and imagine aliens breaking through the window and taking the Queen hostage. But it never happened. Instead some rather dull message about how we should all love each other… blah blah blah.
Outside the palace were thousands upon thousands of people waiting to see the Queen, but when I looked up at the palace I suddenly became pretty sure it wasn’t going to be the queen walking through those doors.
The palace was draped in pink glittery fabrics and it was only when there was glitter shot out of the largest cannon I had ever seen that I thought something was up. There weren’t one queen, there were four.
And not only were there FOUR queens, but the four queens were made up of the members of…
They jumped out on to the balcony and the crowd completely lost it!
“I love the Queens of the United Kingdom so much!!”
“All hail Queen Mix!”
“One day I want to become Queen just like them!”
Boys and girls were all looking up in complete admiration. Now this all seemed like harmless fun until suddenly the speakers blasted an extremely catchy song (probably their new single) and Perrie proclaimed “BUY THE NEW LITTLE MIX CD!!!!” and the crowd immediately bowed to the Queens.
Then completely in sync the crowd marched down the Mall and proclaimed together…
“BUY THE NEW LITTLE MIX CD! BUY THE NEW LITTLE MIX CD!”
I’m not 100% sure on this but it looked like the girls had somehow brainwashed every single person outside their palace, amazing what a catchy song can do!
I know I hated the Queens speech but I quite liked the queen being queen and Little Mix being Little Mix. I had to step in and stop this madness!
Luckily being in possession of a time machine also means you can transport yourself to anywhere in the world you want. So I managed to sneak myself into the balcony room inside the palace. I quickly hid myself in a nearby cupboard and listened to the girls enter the room.
“Justin? Justin come here!”
You wouldn’t believe this but out of nowhere Justin Bieber (JUSTIN BIEBER!) ran into the room dressed in drabby old clothes with black stains all over. He approached Jessie who had her feet placed on a golden box.
I couldn’t believe it, Little Mix had become SO famous and powerful that Justin Bieber had become their personal shoe cleaner. Things were getting out of hand. The brainwashing I could handle but not this! But what could I do to stop them?
As Justin passed the cupboard I was hiding in, I pulled him and covered his mouth to mute any noises so Little Mix wouldn’t hear. After some quick (and not too difficult) persuasion we had traded clothes and I entered the room to clean the next shoe.
I don’t know if you have ever been starstruck but when you stand in front of someone so famous your whole body starts to seize up and you forget how to talk.
“I… I… Shoe… Clean… Me… Erm…”
“JESSIE NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!” Screamed Perrie. “JESSIE! You were about to let a non-famous person touch you!”
Jessie suddenly looked like she was about to faint.
“I… I am famous!” I nervously lied.
“What are you from? Have you been on the telly?”
“I released that really famous song… you know the one… a few years ago. I sold 1 trillion albums!”
“1 trillion? There aren’t even 1 trillion people on the planet…” Said Jade, she was always the smart one!
“Well, everyone in the world bought it more than once!”
“I see… You’re a genius! Now give her shoe a good scrub!”
They were absolute monsters, brainwashing the whole world to sing to their songs, forcing washed up celebrities to clean their shoes. What had happened to them, they used to be such nice girls.
That was when BEYONCE (This was getting ridiculous now) stumbled in and bowed down to the girls making sure not to make eye contact.
“I am so sorry oh grateful ones!!”
“What is it Beyonce you are such an inconvenience!”
“I just came in to say your new song has sold 2 trillion copies, you have now sold more than all other artists put together. Congratulations.”
There was silence.
Little Mix’s faces lit up, they squealed and gave each other a hug. For the first time they looked like the same girls I had seen on my telly back in 2016.
A tear was leaving Leigh-Anne’s eye as she spoke to the girls.
“This is it girls, now we have enough money to feed every homeless child in the world. We did it! We finally saved the world!”
And with that being said I suddenly realised that you should never judge a book by its cover, behind Little Mix’s strong and (lets be honest) terrifying appearance they were the kindest people in the world. Behind every character is a person just wanting to fix the world.
I rushed away from the girls (before I had to clean anymore shoes) and ran to the time machine and transported myself back to the past.
Well it wasn’t until I was safely back in my Uncle’s house that I noticed that I still had Justin Bieber with me, dressed in my clothes. This wasn’t going to be easy to explain.