Egyptblog

So last time I wrote on here I had just discovered my Uncle Jimmy’s time machine… Well unfortunately he has been keeping a very close eye on me and won’t let me anywhere near the room with the machine in. It’s been locked with another lock attached to the lock. I had no chance of getting in.

Then I found my perfect moment, Uncle Jimmy had eaten too many fig rolls and had run to the toilet this morning (too much info I know, but never eat too many fig rolls!)… but I had a bit of a brainwave, surely if I could just get 10 seconds in the room I could return at any time and reset the machine so Uncle Jimmy wouldn’t even know I’ve gone anywhere. I’m so clever.

I approached the machine and finally I could get a better look at it, on the left there was a clock you could set a time and date and on the right there was a keyboard where you could select ‘keywords’.

(I was trying really hard to think of a time in my life I wanted to revisit but when I heard the toilet flush I started to panic.)

I looked through the window and saw a grey cloud covering the sky and rain falling down, it had rained for 3 weeks in a row and to be honest I just wanted quite the opposite so without another thought I typed ‘Hot’ and pressed enter.

The machine gave a shake and a wobble. and before I knew it the world was gone.


When I landed back on to earth my feet were buried into red hot sand.

Now I would like to stress that I know I wanted a change and that some heat would have been rather nice, but my idea of hot was a nice gentle summer breeze, this desert had a feeling likened to sticking your whole body into an oven on full power.

(Basically it’s REALLY HOT in a desert!).

Suddenly a group of men ran up to me, they weren’t wearing anything but a small cloth around their waist. They weren’t making any sense as they didn’t speak my language, it was like they were making up an imaginary language up on the spot. They pulled at my clothes and made a funny face.

When the crowd arrived they surrounded me from every angle and I started to panic that perhaps Uncle Jimmy was right and that I shouldn’t have used the time machine again. It was scary to think I was very far from home and no one knew where I was! The crowd began to part ways and bowed to the ground to reveal a boy no older than me being carried along on what looked like a big sofa! He was wearing lots of gold jewellery and a big golden head piece.

kingtutHe also started speaking nonsense that I couldn’t understand. I took a look at the time machine and noticed a button called ‘Translate’ so I gave it a push and things started to make a lot more sense.

 

“Who are you? Why aren’t you bowing to me, the great Pharaoh Tutankhamen?” said the golden boy.

 

“Erm… Do not be alarmed! I am from the future and I have come to see how you live!”

 

The crowd let out a gasp and started bowing towards me.

 

“Stop bowing, you only bow to me. Idiots!” said Tutankhamun

 

“Excuse me sir, but what is a pharaoh?” I asked.

 

The crowd let out a ‘gasp’.

 

“I rule the whole of Egypt from the dry empty deserts to the wonderful Nile.”

 

My mouth suddenly became as dry as the sand I was walking on, if I knew I was talking to someone so important I would have probably been a little bit easier going on the attitude!

“How does one know if you truly are from the future of time?” questioned Tutankhamun.

 

I didn’t really know how I could prove this but I rummaged through my pockets to find a button, a 2 pence coin and a laser thing I used to make the local cats run around in circles. I pointed it at the sand and then gave it a little bit of a wiggle, every single head followed the red laser everywhere it went. In fact this was even more fun than doing it to the neighbour’s cat. They were mesmerised!

 

The crowd began to bow towards me again this time chanting

‘God God God God!’

I could get used to this!

 

“I’m so sorry I questioned you God of the Future, please how can we assist you?”

“I don’t know…” I replied… Looking back I could think of a million things I could of asked from the Pharaoh of Egypt.

Thousands of slaves then suddenly threw me above their shoulders and marched me down the sand dunes to what looked like a very large pyramid, Tutankhamun looked rather smug…

 

“There you go Mr God of the future, our most recent structure. THE PYRAMID!”

Pyramid“But… it’s upside down…”

He looked at me a little confused.

“What do you mean it’s upside down? No it’s not! Here are my plans right here!”

I didn’t really know how to break it to him but he was holding his plans the wrong way around. The whole pyramid was balancing on its point, I wasn’t even sure how it was standing. It defied all laws of gravity.

 

“How is it even standing?” I said.

 

“Well it took hundreds of years but we did it eventually, come to think of it if it was the other way around perhaps it would have been a little faster… let me give you a tour!”

 

Tutankhamen led the way into the upside down pyramid and it wasn’t just the pyramid that was upside down but so was everything else! The stairs were upside down and all the treasure had been nailed to the roof.

 

“When I die I will be buried somewhere just like this…”

 

But then there was a big

CRASH!!!!!

 

Out from one of the upside down doors appeared a monster covered in rolls of cloth, this was an ancient Egyptian mummy! Coming straight at me.

 

“Blublubblub” it grumbled!

 

We all screamed at it and…

wait can I smell chicken nuggets?

Can you smell chicken nuggets?

I’ll have to carry this story on next week as I think my teas ready! I LOVE CHICKEN NUGGETS!

Comments (2)

  • Chris / 12th September 2016 / Reply

    So funny great for kids.

  • Chris / 19th September 2016 / Reply

    Such a giggle but informative. I loved the info on the canopic jars.

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