You are NOT going to believe what happened to me today!
So today Uncle Jimmy was asleep in front of his favourite documentary ‘When Snails Go Wild’ and it was turning into one of the dullest days since the world began. So what else could I do? I don’t know… how about a little bit of time travelling?
So I dusted off the time machine and gave it a bit of a whirl, not really thinking where I would end up. I thought I had pressed most of the buttons by now but there was a big red button labelled ‘Lucky Dip’ so I pressed it and braced myself.
The machine buzzed and whished and before I knew it my Uncle’s basement had gone and instead I was in a big green field with tree’s in the distance. They didn’t look much different than what I was used to, maybe I had got really unlucky and only gone back 10 minutes!
But then the ground began to shake, the tree’s in the distance gave a little wobble. Was this an earthquake?
No… it was worse! It was a humongous DINOSAUR!
Not any dinosaur though, this was a Tyrannosaurs Rex!
If you don’t know what one of them is… well they are bigger (and heavier) than your school bus, they have really chunky legs and tiny little arms that can’t reach anything. Must be interesting watching them brush their teeth, they must have super long handles or something… sorry I went off track…
So there was this great big Tyrannosaurs Rex emerging from the distant trees and it came straight for me. Considering how heavy these things are they can certainly run fast! I didn’t waste any time and I made a run for it, but my time machine just seemed so far away! I ran and I ran and I was panicking so much that when I finally got there I couldn’t remember how to use my fingers!
I pressed all the buttons two, three or even four times but nothing seemed to work. I started to panic. Sweat was dripping from my forehead. I couldn’t breath.
The T-Rex let out a huge
I panicked and grabbed the first thing I could, I didn’t know what it was but it looked like one of those scanners you find at the supermarket. I pointed it at the dinosaur, closed my eyes, and pressed the button.
“STOPPPPP!!” I shouted.
Then there was a long silence. I bravely opened my eyes and noticed the dinosaur looking over me with a confused look over its face.
“Oh sorry sweetie did I scare you? I really need to stop running at people so aggressively!”
I didn’t know what to say after this. Never in a million years did I think that a dinosaur bigger than my house would speak so… gently!
“Could you help me little odd creature?” said the T-Rex, “My friend has got his head stuck in a volcano and I can’t get it out because… well I’m sure you can figure it out!” then the t-rex nodded towards it’s tiny little arms.
“How will I know you won’t eat me?” I said.
“Ohh hunny I’m on a diet, do you know how fattening little creatures like you are? No thank you!”
So I rode on the Dinosaurs back for some time, dinosaurs didn’t give themselves names but I decided to call this one ‘Ellen’, she just looked like what an Ellen would look like and she was being followed by a herd of cows which I thought was a very ‘Ellen’ thing! Well Ellen was giving me the low down on Dinosaur life and how her and her best friend (Which I called Tom) used to have pretend sword fights but they would just head-butt each other because their arms were so short. That was when we arrived at the biggest volcano I had ever seen in my life!
Below the volcano was a group of a different type of dinosaurs, Ellen said these were called ‘Stegosaurus’ and they were strictly vegetarians. Ellen doesn’t eat them because she tried once but the spikes hurt her mouth so they are strictly friends. Once a week they ran a self help group for meat eaters called ‘No Meat Is Neat!’. They welcomed Ellen with applause!
“Just in time for a meeting! You look like you have lost weight, have you been keeping off those cavemen?!” said the lead Stegosaurs!
“Not only have I been keeping off them but now I have one as a pet!”
The crowd let out an ‘oooooooooooooooooooo’ and an ‘aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah’.
“But enough about that, where is that dinosaur that was stuck in the volcano? My caveman has hands!!”
‘OOOOOOOOoooooooo hands!!’ went the crowd as they turned in one direction towards the HUMONGOUS volcano.
“Up there?!” yelped Ellen
“No silly, that small one on the left! But your husband was trying to pull him out but slipped and got his head stuck too…”
To the left of the mountainous volcano were two tiny little humps that were giving out a little fart of steam now and again. Inside the ‘volcano’ was a winged creature that was wiggling about in every direction. Next to him was a bigger dinosaur in a much bigger volcano also wiggling about his tiny little arms. I went over to give him a hand but he was wiggling about in such a panic it was hard to get a grip!
“Excuse me, excuse me could you just… Excuse me!!” I said.
“Darling he isn’t going to hear a little caveman like you, leave this to me… ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!”
This was so loud everything began to shake, from the trees, to the ground, even my insides were shaking! Both dinosaurs suddenly stopped wiggling about. I gave them a tug one hand on each, then another tug, then after one more great big tug there was a loud POP and out came the strangest of all the dinosaurs, next to Tom the T-Rex (who looked like a mix of confused and angry which reminded me of that grasshopper from ‘A Bugs Life’).
“What on earth are you??” I said out loud.
“Do you go around asking all the dinosaurs that? Rude!” Said the creature.
“That’s a Pterodactyl, a flying dinosaur!” Ellen informed me.
“ARGH A T-REX! DON’T EAT ME DON’T EAT ME!” Screamed the Pterodactyl, (I’m gonna name this Bob as I don’t think I can spell it anymore!)
“What are you on about? We are friends, we were hanging out an hour ago!”
“Oooo look a volcano!” and that was when Bob got his head stuck in the volcano again. We decided to just leave him there as this seemed like a bit of a vicious circle.
“Tom how did you end up in the volcano…” Ellen asked.
Tom started to blush, (Well as much as t-rex could blush). That is when he pulled out a tiny clumsy little ring carved out of stone for Ellen’s tiny little finger. Ellen’s face filled with tears.
“Will you marry me?” Said Tom the T-rex, Ellen didn’t need to respond she just let out a ‘squeal’ and gave him a hug that wasn’t quite a hug because neither of them could reach around the other.
Ellen and the Stegosaurus’ walked me to my time machine and I thanked them for the adventure, I told them that I would tell everyone in the future about how nice Dinosaurs are!
“One last question little caveman from the future, what does the future hold for us?”
“Erm… I wouldn’t want to ruin it for you. Bye guys!”
And that’s when I went back home, how do you break it to a whole world of dinosaurs that soon a comet would come and wipe them out forever?
Anyway I only got back about half an hour ago and quite frankly all that adventure has made me hungry. I wonder if Uncle Jimmy has finished his documentary on snails yet? I wonder if he will cook me some chicken nuggets?